This year’s traditional Thanksgiving course didn’t include an escape clause from celebrity drama. Unlike leftover turkey, we’re still clamoring for more than “my fault” as an explanation for what precipitated Tiger Woods’ one-car accident. Sorry, Tiger, but you opened a reality window in your Florida Mcmansion and there’s never been a privacy option with fortune and fame.
Despite rumors swirling like an Arizona dust storm, here’s how I think the domestic upheaval went down: Tiger and wifey Elin’s heated discussion came to blows after she confronted him about creeping. Tired of his megawatt smile denials, the former model fetched one of his fancy golf clubs and issued a memorable beat down.
Tail tucked like a sick kitty, Tiger attempted a Cadillac Escalade roll out with a golf club-armed Elin likely in close pursuit. An obvious fan of hip-hop, the 29-year old Mrs. Woods then took the lyrics of Jazmin Sullivan’s “Bust Your Windows” to task before the actual crash:
"I bust the windows out your car
You should feel lucky that’s all I did
After five years of this bullshit
Gave you all of me and you played with it"
Tiger might’ve married white but I’m convinced this Swede has some sistah in her, especially if she's already consulted Kobe Bryant's Vanessa on the appropriate rock size.
Loved it.
ReplyDeleteThis is too much. I was listening this morning to Sherri Underwood take on the story. It was a hoot.
ReplyDeleteLMAO!!! Good read! My take is that Elin was after Tiger to go clubin'. It wss the bewitching hour, afterall.
ReplyDeleteThe clubin' comment was on point so much so that it had me LMAO too.
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