Is Tiger's Wife in Preparation for a PGA Tour?

This year’s traditional Thanksgiving course didn’t include an escape clause from celebrity drama. Unlike leftover turkey, we’re still clamoring for more than “my fault” as an explanation for what precipitated Tiger Woods’ one-car accident. Sorry, Tiger, but you opened a reality window in your Florida Mcmansion and there’s never been a privacy option with fortune and fame.

Despite rumors swirling like an Arizona dust storm, here’s how I think the domestic upheaval went down: Tiger and wifey Elin’s heated discussion came to blows after she confronted him about creeping. Tired of his megawatt smile denials, the former model fetched one of his fancy golf clubs and issued a memorable beat down.

Tail tucked like a sick kitty, Tiger attempted a Cadillac Escalade roll out with a golf club-armed Elin likely in close pursuit. An obvious fan of hip-hop, the 29-year old Mrs. Woods then took the lyrics of Jazmin Sullivan’s “Bust Your Windows” to task before the actual crash:

"I bust the windows out your car
You should feel lucky that’s all I did
After five years of this bullshit
Gave you all of me and you played with it"

Tiger might’ve married white but I’m convinced this Swede has some sistah in her, especially if she's already consulted Kobe Bryant's Vanessa on the appropriate rock size.

Mayor's Race in Houston: Below the Belt Politics

Now that the Houston’s mayoral election is run-off bound, the endorsement by a trio of prominent black ministers clearly demonstrates that Peter Brown’s loss is Gene Locke’s gain. Learning through a Houston Chronicle article that long-standing friendship was cited over qualification left me peeved like angst-loaded Maj. Hassan in Fort Hood. So much so that I howled ala Tina Turner, “What’s friendship got to do with it?”

If friendship had been a decisive factor, what on earth prompted the collective jockeying of Brown’s horse in the first place? This is politics played by men who’re revered for packing a persuasive punch on Sunday but rendered ineffective in delivering African-American votes for Brown on Election Day. Very few convene around the political table without agendas appetizing to self-interests.

It remains to be seen whether the ministers are positioned for a blundering repeat but saddling up with the likes of Dr. Steven Hotze, the newest member of Team Locke courted for conservative bolster, can’t be a good sign. Hotze was the political mastermind behind a Straight Slate city council campaign back in the day.

Unfortunately, in the sport of politics, fighting below the belt is fair. Just ask Christian conservative Dave Wilson who distributed 35,000 mass mailings to Houston households captioned, “Is this the image Houston wants to portray?” below a photo of openly gay Annise Parker pictured with partner.

Come Correct or Don't Come at All

Factuality was once American journalism’s first tenet. However, considering the avalanche of inaccuracies burying the truth on airwaves and in print these days, that seemingly is no longer the case. A few weeks ago, I gasped when I heard a live MSNBC anchor, obviously bitten by the “all blacks look alike” bug, mistake Rev. Jesse Jackson for Rev. Al Sharpton. Jackson checked her boo boo quickly given the rocky relationship the civil rights activists allegedly share.

While I’m almost certain the anchor attributed blame to the producer, the Washington Post writer who recently referred to the NAACP President Ben Jealous as a “grizzly bear of a white man” has no such excuse. She got it twisted while spotlighting the predominantly white Maine State Prison Chapter which signifies a shift in the NAACP's organizational wind.

Although the light-skinned and good-haired Jealous, the son of an African-American mother and caucasian father, could easily pass for white, assumption without verification in professional journalism is unvirtuous. With the Internet at our fingertips, the one-drop rule is surely no secret. Newsflash to mainstream media: Come correct or don’t come at all.

Houston's Next Mayor: Black Guy, Rich White Guy, Lesbian or Hispanic Republican?

Billed as a boring mayoral contest by the Houston Press, the alternative newspaper's recent politically incorrect headline, “Black Guy, Rich White Guy, Lesbian and Hispanic Republican” pushed my buttons. Though accurate, the identity distinctions scream an outcome likely driven by race, status or gender. For some, the decision will come down to Gene Locke’s Afro activism and corporate connectedness, Peter Brown’s “big pimpin” media saturation and ministerial ties, and Annise Parker’s sexuality.

Rooted in reality, I’ve known that even as we approach 2010, Houston remains a cosmopolitan city full of countrified mentalities deep fried in bigoted fat. Whether black, white, yellow or brown, voters who utilize staid criteria to establish the city's future direction represent a backward brood. Hopefully, votes cast far from the superficial surface but closer to the substance of the issues will prevail.

Jackson's Doc Addicted

Bombshell? Well, not exactly, as talk show hostess Nancy Grace is so quick to blurt nightly. On the eve of the "This is It" premiere, Michael Jackson's dermatologist, Dr. Arnie Klein, petitioned the estate to cough up $50,000 for medical services previously rendered. The exorbitant fee amounts to approximately $1,000 a pop for 51 Demerol injections the celebrity doc administered within 90 days of the icon's death.

Klein is the same slimy character who boisteriously proclaimed on CNN that he wanted to make sure Michael's children weren't exploited financially. Before making his way to the bank should he receive a favorable ruling, Klein should consult his crony Dr. Conrad Murray for a prescription to arrest greed addiction.