More Monkey Business at Barnes & Nobles

Reaction to a Barnes and Nobles’ display window photograph mimicking the NYP’s cartoon’s racist theme proves imitation is not always the highest form of flattery. Blacks, whose backs are burdening an upsurge in racism, were pissed like cotton-picking slaves when a picture surfaced on the Internet of a Barack Obama commemoratives’ display injected with more monkey business – this time, a book with a monkey on its cover infiltrated the bookseller’s publication shrine to the 44th U.S.President.

Feeling as though I’d been slapped twice by the same hand tightly wadded my panties, and when text didn’t accompany the depicted vulgarity, I called the store in Coral Gables, FL, an affluent enclave of “Living La Vida Loca” Miami, the next day. I calmly expressed my concerns to the manager on duty, an overly apologetic woman whose dialect conveyed Hispanic heritage. Although the incendiary incident occurred two weeks ago, complaint phone calls have been non-stop, according to the B&N representative. When I asked if the guilty party had been hogtied, she merely advised that an unidentified customer was the suspected interloper.

Though it’s not the first time a customer has disrupted a retail display, B&N management also bears blame for its lax in ensuring store windows promote products positively. In this day of consumer tightwads, brisk traffic certainly isn't a feasible explanation for quality assurance neglect.

With the election of the first H.N.I.C., we knew this was coming. We knew that with a climatic historical event, a swell in ignorance was bound to accompany it. We also knew that a deepening recession wouldn’t be enough to distract white supremist mindsets. No matter the degree to which the lives of blacks and whites collide by rising unemployment and home foreclosure commonalities, there will always be change resisters who strive to divide. Every picture tells a story, even those we may least expect.

Attorney General Lays Truth's Gavel Down

If anything is distinguishable about diversity’s multi-meat stew, the dark meat must not overpower the white meat’s flavor. In other words, when blacks season their speech with critical truth just as U.S. Attorney Eric Holder did when he branded America a "nation of cowards," rancidity invades the mouths of whites. While Holder’s call is correct, this nation also includes a herd of hypocrites who cling to diversity’s political correctness in public, yet, fail to practice what is championed privately.

The main ones quick to reject the societal observation, like Pat Buchannan, who accused Holder of calling “white people” cowards, are the same ones guilty of self-segregating. Apparently, Maureen Dowd was equally inflamed when she wrote “…we don’t need a Jackson/Sharpton-style lecture on race. Barack Obama’s election was supposed to get us past that” in a NYT column entitled “Dark, Dark, Dark,” at http://www.nytimes.com/2009/02/22/opinion/22dowd.html. Though an intelligent writer, either Dowd has been sipping her assertions from a flawed post-racial straw or the hue of her reality is several shades lighter than mine.

Racism's discussion remains a lifetime staple in the African-American kitchen, but in the cupboards of many white households, its supply is scant. Hope burns eternal, however, the expectation that White America smell the breadth of racism's putrid aroma when they’ve not been forthright within their own insulated communities is, at best, extreme.

Cartoon Buffoonery in the New York Post

Update 2/21: A Rev. Al Sharpton-led protest of 200 prompted a NYP apology. NAACP Head Ben Jealous has since called for a boycott of the media powerhouse.

The race card will still be played even when logic defies, yet, Rev. Al Sharpton and NY Governor David Paterson deserve a "right on" for raising issue with the controversial New York Post cartoon. The depiction, two white police officers standing over a chimp disabled by gunfire, is fried chicken-familiar to African-Americans but the caption seals the stereotypical deal: “They’ll have to find someone else to write the next stimulus bill.”

The tasteless reference is ‘someone’ other than U.S. President Barack Obama. Whites have equated African-American ancestry with the gorilla family for years. Just as in comedy, politics is abrasively targeted in cartoons, even those in journalistic context. Cartoonist Sean Delonas, reportedly, says the charges are “friggin ridiculous.” Undoubtedly, the thinking caps donned by the NYP powerheads were infant-sized. Incidentally, didn't we prove that a primate cannot be elected president?

When badge-sanctioned injustice continues to trample and reduce humans of color to animal stature, a post-racial society is akin to a pipe dream. Religious roots may predicate forgiveness but we will never forget the beat down of Rodney King or the recent gun downs of Oscar Grant, unarmed and handcuffed, courtesy of Oakland B.A.R.T. Police, and Bellaire,TX resident Robbie Tolan, plus others maimed and murdered by hands posturing white supremacy. Grant paid the ultimate price with his life, unfortunately.

Jakes' Son Snatched in Dallas Sex Sting

The son of megachurch pastor T.D. Jakes was figuratively cuffed for indecent exposure in a recent Dallas, TX sex sting. According to the Advocate.com, 29-year old Jermaine Donnell Jakes is accused of revealing his "family jewels" to two undercover police officers at Oak Cliff’s Kiest Park. Billed as gay-friendly by www.citydata.com/zips/75224.html, the area's wooded spot belied cordiality when gays and the down low straight men who engage them were targeted the night of January 3, 2009.

While specifics about the father/son dynamics are unknown, the elder Jakes’ homophobic slant is clear in the reported declaration that “he would never hire a sexually active gay person.” Naturally, methodology utilized to determine whether a gay or lesbian applicant is sexually active sparks considerable curiosity. Though equally perplexing is how to reconcile a powerful message of love preached seven days a week when employment discrimination is practiced Monday through Friday.

Here’s the official police document at a glance courtesy of http://www.pamshouseblend.com/showDiary.do?diaryId=9453:

Detective X and Detective X entered the wooded area. Suspect Jakes walked directly over to where Detective X was, and stood next to Detective X with his penis exposed through his unzipped pants. Suspect Jakes then began to masturbate his erect penis with his left hand for several seconds while making eye contact with Detective X.

Celebrity Liability Lassoes Its Latest Victims

Suggesting the American public’s propensity for vindication as proof in the election of Barack Obama, who admitted a previous life’s cocaine vice, Houston Chronicle columnist Ken Hoffman was out-of-order for citing the comparison as a basis to release Michael Phelps’ photographed bong bust from incrimination’s hooks. Hoffman said of Barack Obama in “Lay off Michael Phelps” published February 9, 2009: “Americans seemed to have forgiven him. They just elected him president over a war hero. And judging from all those magazine covers, commemorative coins and collectible plates, nobody moves product like Barack Obama.”

Ken’s logic must be lodged in a Kellogg's Fruit Loop. Had Barack Obama been caught on camera like Washington D.C.’s former crack mayor Marion Berry during the presidential run, he would be an ousted Illinois Senator.

Because Kellogg's dashed for corporate cover, severing ties with the athletically accomplished Aquaman, Phelps apparently has more in common with R&B crooner Chris “Smiley” Brown than Obama. Brown, in a judicial pickle for assaulting his girlfriend, pop princess Rhianna, was temporarily scratched from Wrigley’s endorsement lineup after the allegations gained steam.

Both Phelps and Brown, who exercised judgment unrestrained by common sense, have also likely fallen victim to invincibility's hype. If Michael must bong and blaze, why can't he do so privately in his palatial Maryland bach pad to avoid risking income or reputational tarnish?

Lost in Presidential Lust

I’m no prude but the sexual fodder of which Barack Obama is the subject crosses the acceptability line. Throngs of women, weak-kneed with rapture, proclaimed more than a political interest in the man who rose to the presidency long before he took office. However, sexual confessions eclipsed when New York Times columnist Judith Warner professed a dream about the president emerging from her home’s shower last week. In “Sometimes a President is Just a President,” Warner confided that “many women – not too surprisingly – were dreaming about sex with the president." The article in its entirety may be viewed here: http://warner.blogs.nytimes.com/2009/02/05/sometimes-a-president-is-just-a-president/.

Black women may be similarly smitten with the new Commander-In-Chief but if they’re wet dreaming, it’s likely kept under wraps out of respect for his First Lady. Unarguably, the black president has brought sexy back to the White House but it matters little if he can’t rescue the country from this recessionary cesspool. Seemingly, the ongoing Mandingo dick obsession by white women, though taboo in some circles, is one that will never die. Had comments of the same lascivious stream come from men about a female president, they’d be swiftly dismissed with a sexist slap.

A Bitter Etta Bites Back

Though she has since apologized, the acerbic acidity Etta James hurled at Beyonce for singing “At Last” on Inauguration Night caught the masses by surprise. Conversely, James sang the Houston native’s praises after her portrayal of the singer in “Cadillac Records.” In the same Seattle gig, James also demonstrated how classless she is when she coined Barack Obama the big-eared president of others. For that, Etta, a steroidal sour puss, needs her ass whupped.

Don't Diss the Queen

As expected, eagle eyes will microscopically examine everything about First Lady Michelle Obama from her clothing choices to causes she champions. Poised for criticism within the avalanche of adulation, the African-American female first adds significant flair to Washington’s drab fare beyond any assigned style quotient. Occasional objectionable banter targeting Mrs. Obama by the press might be allowable; however, messing with the Queen, according to black protocol, is a no-no.

Aretha “Queen of Soul” Franklin has been unmercifully mocked for the millinery finery she donned on Inauguration Day. The original artistic architect of the civil rights anthem, “Respect,” deserves no disrespect whether it’s accusations of substituting ‘cunt tree’ for country in “My Country,‘Tis of Thee” or giving her royal less vocally in nippy D.C. Unhappy with her performance, the perfectionist elected to re-record the song for digital download last week.

With 18 Grammys bursting her musical belt, Franklin has earned exclusive license to do as she damn well pleases. Whether she’s svelte or food seduced, “Ms. Re Re” forever reigns as Black America’s Queen.